I want, never gets!!

(Or do they?)

 

I WANT………. I want to walk trough Bluebell forest in my home town of Bolton just one more time as I did as I boy. To smell the forest and the decaying wood and feel the muddy earth beneath my feet whilst I listen to the babbling brook running through the middle, and be amazed as it turns a bright brown where the iron ore bubbles up.

 

I Want………. I want to walk up Scout Rd and onto Bolton Moor`s with nothing but a jam butty (Sandwich) and a skip in my step. To walk past the old Quarry, walk to the top and sit on the highest rock so I can look down on the whole of Bolton going about its day and feel excited because I can see them, but they can’t  see me.

I Want………. To play football just one more time on Astley Bridge park facing my old school Holy Infants, to sit in the shelter and wait for the park warden to tell me and my mates the gates were closing and we had to go home!! He always used to say “I know your Father!! Thing is, he did!!

I Want………. To sit in my wonderful grandmothers’ kitchen (before dementia took her away) and smell her cooking, and making all the cakes and pies which she did every Saturday without fail , to make sure the family had something nice to eat at least once a week (On a Sunday) My grandmother was the one who brought me up.

 

I Want……….To wear a pair of two toned pants, a Ben Sherman shirt and a Crombie overcoat and a pair of black Loafer shoes with tassels as I did as a teen. To queue up at the VA VA nightclub and attend the “all nighters” (Kids, you didn’t invent this you know!!LOL) and call into Sammy`s Snacks cafe on the way home on a Sunday morning for a full breakfast, play a game on the pinball machine and drink a cup of tea that was as strong as tar.

 

I Want………. I want to see my children born all over again, see the look on their faces as they enter this world, so innocent and yet so much to look forward to. I want To hold them as they cry and rock them gently back to sleep hoping they know how much I love them and hope they can feel the love emitting from my arms that keep them warm safe and snug.

 

BUT MOST OF ALL?????

 

I Want………. I want to know why I can’t remember much after this, why I can’t remember them growing up, going to school, where I worked or where I have lived. I want to know why I can’t remember the holidays I have been on THIS YEAR!! I know I have because Elaine has shown me the pics I have put on the computer so I must have, been but have no memory of them whatsoever.

 

I Want………. I want to know why this disease is so cruel, this awful disease that stole my wonderful grandmother from me, my father from me, and not content with that, it now wants myself!! I want to know why such a disease would want so much from one family!! To remind us through three generations of one family that it can take life`s at will, without fear of retribution and without guilt.

 

I Want………. A CURE!!!!!! SIMPLE AS THAT!!!

 

Is it so very wrong to want so much? To want to bring an end to the sadness and horror dementia brings? To want to rid the world of this horrible illness do we can all get older without the fear that is losing the most precious things we have, OUR MEMORIES??

I WANT NEVER GETS!! (Or do they??)

 

One day my friends, one day xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Norrms Mc Namara Diagnosed six years ago with dementia and STILL fighting it xx